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Final Inspiration Show episode!
Brandee Lynn - The Healing Powers of Ayahuasca
Stewart Emery - Who's In Your Room
Sharon McRill - How to Transition Like a Winner
Dr. Joan Rosenberg - 90 Seconds to a Life You Love
The Power of Eight - Lynne McTaggart
Pauline Nguyen - How to Become a Spiritual Entrepreneur
Tom Cronin - Meditation Benefits You Didn't Know About
Spryte Loriano - Awakening Giants: Your Favorite TV Show
Karen Noe - Wayne Dyer's Message About Grief and Struggle
Cynthia James - Take Care of #1 - YOU!
Arjuna Ardagh - How to Make an Impact in the World
Martin Rutte - How to Experience Heaven on Earth
Ajit Nawalkha - Have Success Without Working Harder!
Tim Shields - Don't Let Your Fears Get in the Way of Your Dreams
RaShawn Renee - Boost Your Self-Esteem
Allison Maslan - How to Successfully Grow Your Business
Mark Gober - An End to Upside Down Thinking
Brett Anderson - How to Get into a Flow State
Adam Markel - How to Find the Clarity to Change
Jim Self - How to Find the Real You
Sandra Biskind - How to Raise Your Vibration
Patty Aubery - How to Become an Outrageously Successful You
Christy Whitman - How to Find The Secret to Success
Radha Agrawal - How to Find and Make Deeper Connections
Denise Mange - How to Communicate With Your Pet
Brian C. Wilson - How to Integrate Science and Spirituality
Akshay Nanavati - How to Turn Fear Into a Positive Force
Bill Bennett - How to Find and Follow Your Intuition
Nikki Jade - How to Connect to Your Mind-Body Power
Sarah Anne Shockley - How to Cope With Chronic Pain
Jeremiah Burgess - Help Build a Sustainable School
Regina Lon - The Power of Sacred Geometry
Tristan Truscott - How to Heal With Qigong
Yvonne Tally - How to Break Up With Busy
Michelle Fondin - How to Use Chakra Healing
Julie Simon -How to Overcome Emotional Eating
Meriflor Toneatto - How to Change Your Relationship With Money
Kristine Carlson - How to Move Through Grief
Dawson Church - The Secret Behind Epigenetics
Jonathan Robinson - How to Listen During Conflict
Sara Wiseman - How to Connect to the Universe
Marilyn Suttle - How to Enhance Your Creativity
Brad and Kasey Wallis - How to Master Your Higher Consciousness
JJ Virgin - How to Become a Warrior Mom
Herb Freed - How to Recognize Your Soulmate
Dawn Harris - How to Heal Your Emotional Wounds
Corrine Zupko - From Anxiety to Love
Martin Rutte - Heaven on Earth
Sandra Mendelson - We Walk Beside You
Kelly McGrath Martinsen - A Year of Inspired Living
Richard Gordon - The Secret Nature of Matter
Geneen Roth - This Messy Magnificent Life
Carl Studna - The Evolution of Loving
Arielle Ford - Discovering the Light Within
Derek Rydall - The Abundance Project
Charles Langley - Unforeseen Forces: Healing Secrets of a Lost Navajo Tribe
Sidney Reeves - Surviving Against the Odds (Part Two)
Sidney Reeves - Surviving Against the Odds (Part One)
Troy Amdahl & Dave Braun - Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World
Joe Nunziata - How to Stop Chasing and Start Living
Spring Washam - How to Move Through Grief
Chef Lance Roll - Bone broth: Healing Magic Elixir
Natalie Ledwell - 2017 Special Christmas Edition
Doug Noll - How to Turn Anger into Peace in 90 Seconds
The Better Brain Solution - Dr. Steven Masley
Mind Gourmet is Food for Thought - Nina Kaiser
Becoming Supernatural - Dr. Joe Dispenza
The Power of Qigong - Master Teresa Yeung
Connecting With Your Sexual Soulmate - Susan Bratton
What Is The Meaning Of Life? - Gregg Braden
The Power Of Music - Craig Young
How To Trust Your Intuition - Terri Christine
How To Live With No Regrets - Christine Hassler
How To Deal With Grief - Robert Clancy
The Power of Eight - Lynne McTaggart
The Great Mother Bible - Mare Cromewell
The Benefits of Past Life Regression Therapy - Amy Weiss
The 4 Sacred Gifts - Anita Sanchez
How To Land A Book Deal - Zhena Muzyka
5 Steps To Becoming Your Own Health Hero - Dr. Nanda Parthi
Overcoming Your Difficult Family - Dr. Eric Maisel
Love is The Power - Robert O. Williams
How To Be a Champion of Change - Frankie Picasso
Akashic Knowing - Lisa Barnett
Beyond Food - Tomas Reyes
Patricia Gachagan - Born Together
Dr Shawne Duperon - Project Forgive
Michel Pascal - Meditation For Daily Stress
Jennie Lee - How To Use Yoga Therapy For Healing
Wendie Colter - How to Use Medical Intuition For Healing
Live Your Happy - Maria Felipe
How to Discover Your Sacred Wealth Code - Prema Lee Gurreri
Morry Zelcovitch - What is Brainwave Entrainment?
Keith Mitchell - Yoga and Mindfulness as Tools for Healing
Cedric Bertelli - TIPI: The French Antidote To Fear
The Worry Free Mind - Carol Kershaw, EdD & Bill Wade, PhD
Spirituality For Men - Mike Marschhausen
Digene Farrar - Healing From Trauma and Abuse
Maria Flores Letelier - How To Ask For What You Want
Acharya Shunya - How To Heal and Lose Weight With Ayurveda
Jayne Gardner - What is Divine Intelligence?
Holly Parker - If We’re Together, Why Do I Feel So Alone?
Deirdre Hade & William Arntz - Can Science and Spirituality Co-exist?
Natalia Levey - How To Master Your Food Cravings
Jill Lublin - The Gift of Kindness
Dr. Peta Stapleton & Kate Helder- How To Get Rid Of Anxiety Using EFT
Dawa Tarchin Phillips - How To Use Mindfulness To Erase Negative Habits
Neel Raman - How to Awaken the Leader in You
Eva and Olga Karpman
Ken Stone - How to Experience Your Divine Within
Pete Bissonette - Breakfast Tea & Bourbon
Sandra Biskind - How to Upgrade Your Frequency
Lisa Loving Dalton - Falling For The Stars
Dr. John McGrail - What is Synthesis Effect?
Bob Doyle - Does the LOA Really Work?
Teresa St. Frances - How to Communicate With Your Teenager
James Van Praagh - The Power Of Love
Emma Mildon - The Search Of Your Soul
Sherianna Boyle - Mantras Made Easy
Rico Racosky - Just 2 Choices
Ann Barham - Past Life Regression: The Truth Demystified
Pat Duckworth - Discover Your Greatest Purpose At Any Stage Of Your Life
Cynthia James - How To Make Time For Yourself Without Being Selfish
Elisabeth Dale - How To Buy A Bra That Fits
Craig Babic - How To Pay Off Student Debt In A Holistic Way
Koby Ben - Modern Day Millionaire
Dr. Marilyn Joyce - How To Live Your Life To The Fullest
Mridu Parikh - How To Organize Your Life
Robert Clancy - How To Live And Lead With Kindness
Keryl Pesce - The Secret To Happiness
Laura Lane - Hope And Happiness For Cancer Kids
Kevin Hancock - How To Find Spiritual Fulfillment
Tom O'Bryan - Is Gluten Bad For You?
Mare Cromwell - 1000 Goddesses Gathering
Melita Ray - How To Remain Positive During Chaos
Vasavi Kumar - How To Transition Through Big Life Changes
Dr. Sharon Livingston - How To Survive A Friendship Breakup
Naomi Katz - How To Prevent Teenage Depression
Courtney Amundson - Does Pain Serve A Purpose?
Yol Swan - Are You An Indigo?
Alicia Diaz - How To Dissolve Emotional Blocks
Lynne Cockrum-Murphy - How To Leave Suffering Behind
Dr. Toni Luisa Rivera - How To Listen To Your Body's Wisdom
Valerie Sheppard - 4 Steps To Finding Happiness
Bruce Cryer - How To Keep Your Inspiration Alive
Arjuna Ardagh - Can Men Be Spiritual And Masculine?
Marilyn Suttle - How To Turn A Difficult Customer Into A Raving Fan
RC Henningsen - The REAL Secret To Manifesting Dreams
Zen DeBrucke - How To Tap Into Your Inner Guidance System
SARK - 6 Powerful Habits To Experience More Love
Dr. Edwige Bingue - Guide To Spiritual Awakening
Barry Goldstein - Can Music Heal?
Christine Hassler - How To Overcome Dissapointment In Life
Tony Wilson - How To Not Lose Your Hope
Jonathan Robinson - 5 Components Of True Happiness
Natalie Ledwell - The Reason Why You Can't Manifest Successfully
Carol Tuttle - 4 Types Of Energy Profiling You Need To Know
Tom Bird - Write/Right From God
Warren Davies - The Unbreakable Farmer
Aleya Dao - 7 Steps To Connect With Your Inner Self
Jack Canfield - How To Quite Drinking In 30 Days
Marni Battista - The Do's And Dont's Of Online Dating
Dr Lise Janelle - Your Mission In Life Revealed!
Megan Duma - How To Manifest A Dream Birth
Vicki Sandler - How To Raise Your Vibration In 90 Seconds
Lisa Nichols - The Secret To Abundance
Terri Levine - Discover Your Talents In 5 Steps
Scott Coady - How To Become A Modern Day Leader
JJ Virgin - How to Lose Weight And Feel Great
Arielle Ford - How To Make Your Mate Your Soulmate
Jasmina Agrillo Scherr
Michaela Haas PhD
Marilyn Short
Dr. Michelle Nielsen
Robyn Openshaw
Carol Tuttle
Jennifer Powers
Jude Weber
Teresa de Grosbois
Kim Schneiderman
Ariyana, a Star Child
Clayton Ainger
Susan Stiffelman
Steve Taylor
Kelly Johnson
Dr. Galen Loven
How to use meditation at work - Alka Dhillon
Anita Sanchez
Minna Yoo
Louise Armstrong
Thomas Bähler
Asher Fox
Lucinda Cross
Barnet Bain
Micheline Nader
Mira Kelley
Helen Woo
Dr. Bill Dorfman
Dr. Paul Drouin
Bob Proctor
Brian Ridgway
Zlata Petrak
Lloyd Burnett
Anil Gupta
Karen Russo
Natalie Ledwell
Corey Poirier
Miriam Knight
Karl Gruber
Judy van Niekerk
Michele Rosenthal
Joanne Henig
Andrea Cox
Patti Handy
HeatherAsh Amara
Rico Caveglia
David Christopher
Pete Winiarski
Clarissa Burt
Jim Proser
Brandy Faith Weld
Deirdre Maguire
Julie Kleinhans
Dr. Jo Anne White
Kenneth Krell
Patricia Petersen
Temple Hayes
Jana Beeman
Bonita Lehman
Valerie Sheppard
Barb Schmidt
Allyson Chavez
Derek Rydall
Wake Up! TV:
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Dr Joe Rubino
Elizabeth Lombardo
Natalie Jayne
Dave Asprey
Cristiana Dragomir
Christine Hassler
John Seeley
Jeff Carreira
Andy Shaw
Meshell Zwicker
Kit Summers
Sharon Klinger
Heather Smith
Paramahansa Jagadish
Mary Morrissey
Tom Cronin
Miriam Schafer
Tiamo
Judy O'Beirn
Mark Waldman
Sue Stone
Renee Mollan Masters
Fiona Fine
Arjuna
Joe Vitale
Dr Joe Dispenza
Bertrand Dory
Christy Whitman
Damian Reid
V. Lynn Hawkins
Graham Dragon
Treyce Montoya
Remy Chausse
Brent Hunter
Anik Singal
Kaya
Risaria Langley
Ken Elliott
Regina Cates
Dr Amelia Kemp
Jeff Gignac
Micaela Passeri
Ron Prasad
Julie Renee Doering
Marni Batista
Tom North
Nathalie Chantal
Paula D'Andrea
How to turn any adversity into opportunities
David Trybus
Janice Davies
Tina Dietz
John Edwards
Dianne Bischoff
Liana Chaouli
Kathi Burns
Sunny Dawn Johnston - Angels
Raven Blair Davis
Terri and Robert LIVE
Divora Stern
Bennie Mayberry
Patricia Cori - The Emissary
Shonte Taylor LIVE
Jonathon Robinson - Find Happiness Now
Importance of Education in Women's Lives
Suzanne McQueen - Decoding the Woman's Cycle
How to use the Law of Attraction - Live
Aileen McCabe - Inner Peace Diet
Jim Alvino LIVE
Jeanie Cisco-Meth
Sheevaun Moran LIVE
Twenty Twenty
Panache Desai LIVE
Nicholas Steele - Unbreakable
The Power of Body Language
David Howitt - Heed Your Call
The Inspiration Show: Ha, I Laugh In The Face Of Cancer
Jewels Johnson - LOA Event
Hale Dwoskin
Morry Zelcovich
Robyn Benson
Tracey Trottenberg - Own, Honor, Unleash
Orna and Matthew Walters - Love on Purpose Revolution
Christa O'Leary
Anne Perry - Business Heroine
Dr. Jenny Ellis- 5 Women 5 Transformations Part 2
Dr. Jenny Ellis- 5 Women 5 Transformations
Dianne Collins - Do You QuantumThink?
Dr. Elsbeth Meuth and Freddy Zental Weaver - Creating Lasting Fulfillment
How To Cash In On Your Dreams - Noah Solomon
Dr Michael Cotton
Dr Cynthia Thaik Your Vibrant Heart
Overcoming Challenges - Katrina Starzhynskaya
Mark Bowness - Join A New Year's Revolution
Marci Shimoff - Your Year of Miracles
Janice Davies - Say YES to a Positive Attitude
Successful Kids Revolution - Julie Kleinhans
What is your What? - Steve Olsher
Karen Russo - Grow yourself AND your wealth
Red carpet premier of 'Stickability'
Special End of The Year Show!
Gary Malkin - Wisdom of the World
Krystalya Marie - Holistic approach to cold and flu
Laura Rubinstein - Feminine Essence
Sujata Vadlamudy - Attitude Orange
Sarah Blaine - Dance with the Devil
Gina Hussar - 30 Seconds To Peace
Team Toby
Glynda-Lee Hoffmann - The Genesis Code
Lynn Rose - Life-Changing Legacy
David Eby - Finding Happiness
Susan Guddat - Manifesting Mamas
Vrunda Dave - Savvy Business for Women
Raymond Aaron - Create Wealth Doing What You Love
LAUNCH! your success with Scott Duffy
Christopher Tims - Dreams Fulfilled
A Passionate Healthy Life
Tap into the power of YOU!
Inner Hottie Sexy Body
Marry Your Passion
Dreaming Heaven
Living the High Life without the Champagne
Trees of Transformation
Pilgrim Mother
Against All Odds Part 2
Milton's Secret
Transform Your Health
Stickability
Dare To Dream
Against All Odds
The Gift of Infidelity
Dr Katherine T Kelly
Ronna Prince - Sacred Journey of the Heart
Tinh
The Secret to Puppy Love
How to use hypnotherapy to overcome bad habits
Senior Cinema Circle
Business The New Way
Sexy Boss
Manifestation Success
Malcolm Allen BBB Conference
Your Life Now
5 Steps To Align With Your Purpose
Empowered Spirit
Tonya Hofmann - Speaking for Success
Nothing Short Of Joy
Jill Douka
Skinny Genes
Surviving Grief
Unstoppable Self
The Happiness Factor
Conversations For Your Soul
Esther Nicholson - Soul Recovery
Soloman Speaks - The Reconnection
LOA Summit
Maximize Mind Movies Matrix
Dr. Joe Dispenza explains the Law of Attraction in a scientific way
Joanna Ashley - Healing4Bodies
Be Part of Scientific History
Edie Weinstein - Befriending your shadow
LOA expert, Christy Whitman revealshHow to use the 7 universal laws
Moving Through Grief
Hidden Treasures
Bringing Women Together Worldwide
Never In Your Wildest Dreams
Healing With The Masters
Mark Porteous - Personal Transformation
Mind Over Medicine
The WE Paradigm
Terry Tillman
Lynne Sheridan
Modern Day Mastery
Is The LOA Working Against You?
Super Saturday Spirit Sale
Crystal Ki Healing
Kevin Thompson
Freeman Michaels
Keidi Keating - The Light Project
Ivan Misner
Sara Lahey - Love-N-Aid
Amy Scott Grant KidCentered.com
7 Step Formula To Effectively Apply The Law Of Attraction
The Real Mind Movies Story
Adoley Odunton Wellness Revolution
Eric Brown - Mindful Moon
Sonia Ricotti - Unsinkable
Inspiration from Kenya
Magnetic Charisma Cris Van Cleemput
Genetic Energetics Larry Michel
Roberts Rules Made Simple
Science of Stillness
Heal Your Health Kerry Douglas
Julian Kalmar 10 Million Clicks for Peace
Vasavi Kumar Keepin' It Real
Brave Heart Women Resonate
Bewell Buzz
Rick Luck
Welcome to your life
Melanie Nicolas Wealth Tips for Kids
Special Christmas Show
What's Really happening Dec 21st
Celestine
Kacper and Josh Silent Furnace
Passion vs Purpose
Special 'Gratitude Week' Edition: Gratitude Journals
Don't Worry About What Other people Think
Dogs are Gifts from God
Brain Change Therapy
Orrin Husdon Inspiring Kids Through Chess
Rich German
Mike Dooley
Jason Freeman
Betty Iams
101 Powerful Affirmations
The Science of Affirmations
Global Health Summit
Jonny Andrews The Kindle Revolution
An Empowered Woman
Corey Glazier U Without Borders
Dr Huesan Tran - The Meridian of God
Dr Huesan Tran - Pebbles in the Pond
Soul Contracts Danielle MacKinnon
Seriously! The Movie
Inspiring Stories Sam Riggio
Overcoming Adversity
Gabrielle Knowing your Archetypes
Conscious Wealth Marguerita Vorobioff
Empowering Women
Discover your Passion Janet Bray Attwood
FEEL The Book - Michelle Bersell
Survivor Gillian Larson
5 Secret Tips to Being Extraordinary
6 Habits to A Long, Happy Life
DD Watkins
Eliminating Doubt
Dawson Church EFT Explained
Kindness The Movie
Jinny Throup - Inspirational Stories
The Power of Masterminds
Shanda Sumpter - Heart Core Woman
Never Wake Up On the Wrong Side of the Bed Again
Aline Boundy
Stacey Canfield Soul Sitter
The Benefits of Hypnosis
Jack Canfield
Shawn Stevenson
Nikkea Devida Getting Unstuck
Tristan and Sabrina
Viki Winterton
Marcia Tabram Phillips
Inspiring Women Michelle Patterson
Larry Crane Where Has The Happiness Gone?
How to use the Law of Emergence to activate your own calling
Jake Ducey
Fantastic Frank
The Storm Before The Calm
Passion Peeps - Jill Lublin
Passion Peeps - Shawn Shewchuk
Inspirational Stories - Jim Oliver
Passion Peeps - DC Cordova
Finding Joe The Movie
Passion Peeps - Gabriel Nossovitch
Neale Donald Walsch and Karin Volo
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Don Jose Ruiz
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Brendon Burchard - The Charge
Cracking The Man Code
Sharon Babineau Maddie's Story
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Parenting without Power Struggles - Susan Stiffleman
Inspirational Success Stories - Mark Romero
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Don Jose Ruiz - 5th Agreement
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Power of Intention
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How to overcome fear and defeat it for good
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This or Something Better
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The Four Agreements
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Inspirational Kids - Julia Weber
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How to Create an Abundant Vibration
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A Mind Movie for Your Pets!
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Health Tips part 2
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Win the Race of Life
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Stickability Nik Halik
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Spirit Junkie Book Review
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Answer to 7 Secrets Questions
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Dressing for Success part 2
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Will Smith on the Law of Attraction
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Mike Dooley Wisdom
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Q & A from Europe
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Welcome to the Inspiration Show
EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION
NL: Hi everyone. My name is Natalie Ledwell and this is the Tnspiration Show. Today on the show, I have a very special guest. He’s actually known as the father or one of the fathers of the Human Potential Movement. So it’s an honor to have him on the show today. But before I introduce my special guest, I just want to remind you that once the show’s over, don’t forget to click the link below this video so you can download the free ebook version of my bestselling book Never In Your Wildest Dreams. Now, let me introduce my special guest today, Mr. Stewart Emery. How are you Stewart?
SE: I’m really good. I’m very happy to be talking to somebody whose language I speak.
NL: Right? And we get, you know, as you can probably hear, Stewart is also from the Land Down Under, from Australia. Although you’ve been here in the US since what, the 70s or something right?
SE: Yeah. I got here on 1971, came for a couple of weeks. I’m still here as we say. We don’t use consonants as you know in Australia. I’ll be on good behaviour though, I’ll try to use them.
NL: Alright. Now, like I said before, you know, you are one of the pioneers of the Human Potential Movement here in the US. And for those people who are not familiar with some of your, give us a few highlights of you know, what your background is and then we want to talk about this new book of yours, Who’s In Your Room. So yeah, what’s a little bit of your background Stewart?
SE: Well, born on Australia, went to Sydney University, ran the university newspaper with a fellow called Bob Hughes who wrote a book called The Fatal Shore. Now a fellow called Richard Neville then I started working on a fellow called Johnny Single who got to be quite famous in Australia. And I solved the problem of being desperately poor as a child and woke up one morning and now I was kind of one of the man in my field of photography, cinematography and television commercials. And but now that I have a bright orange Porsche show car and money, it didn’t make the difference inside I’d hoped for. Still felt like a little poor kid growing up in the blue mountains and then my first wife whose past gave me a book called Think On These Things by J. Krishnamurti. I read the book on a trip to Ceylon or Sri Lanka to shoot commercials, went around the world shooting commercials for Pepsi. Start having all of these old at state experiences not dragon juice for no reason I knew of and I started to change my life then I got involved with a company called Holiday Magic, got a program called Mind Dynamics. I was going to take Mind Dynamics back to Australia but Werner Erhard did a intensive with his people for him and we found the EST at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel in San Francisco in 1971-72. So I’m still here after all that time. You know, I didn’t know what I was going to do so I went down to town hall metaphysical book store, no longer there, found a book called Aliveness, Health, Wealth, Happiness, and Full Self Expression and that became the core idea of EST, this idea of aliveness. That’s been the core idea of mine ever since and then gradually I begin to realize that I’ve been very careful about who I surrounded myself with this people and then the idea of a Who’s In Your Room happened by accident and we turned it in to a new book, so it’s a very short thing. I’ve written about 8 or 9 books.
NL: Yeah. And I love the story about how this book came about. So can you share that with our viewers?
SE: Yes. So a fellow (inaudible) who some of you may know of, and I were working on a book called Sundays with Stewie or Sundays with Stewart because he’d come over, I’d make him coffee on Sunday mornings. And we were going to pitch it to Bonnie Solo. Alex was late for the meeting and he walked on the door and he said Well I’m sorry I’m late but I got waylaid with a phone call from a fellow called Richard Sapio who has this idea about you know, that I’m too busy, he wanted me out of necker island, I’m too busy he said well you’re too busy because you got too many people in your room and you need a doorman. Alex says well what does that all mean, he pulled over a list and came to us. Explained what it was about that imagine you live in this room and the room only has 1 door and it’s an in and not an out though once people come in to the room they can never leave, they’re with you forever. We are always letting people in so we should do this book called addicted to yes. I said well, I love the idea of the room and you mentioned briefly a doorman, but I don’t like the title addicted to yes, it sounds like a 12 step process for the promiscuous.
NL: (laughter) Yes it does.
SE: (inaudible) Admittedly offend me but I thought I don’t think it’s (inaudible) just saying you know. So I said, well what could you call it they asked, I said well you could call it something like Who’s In Your Room? And there we are the book was born. Well, it wasn’t born, the idea started, we got pregnant with the book, it was a long… long to get the book out of our room in to the marketplace about 6 years.
NL: Right. Now I love this concept because I also, especially, since I moved to the US as well which is around 10 years ago now was very deliberate about you know, who I mixed with. We joined a mastermind group people when I moved to L.A., the friends and the social network with that I set up there you know, transformational leaders, people that have a life of meaning but I was very deliberate about that. So when you’re talking about Who’s In Your Room, what is the room? Is it our life?
SE: Yes, so of course, it’s a metaphor that you live by. So we start with a set of people then I’ll repeat the core idea. Imagine you live in just one room. You’re whole life takes place in this room and the room only has 1 door, not unusual except this door is very unusual, it’s in only, entry no exit. The result is whoever comes in to the room of your life plus whatever they bring with them is with you in the room of your life for the rest of your life, they can never leave. Now if you knew that, would you be more careful about who you let in. And before you say hey, that can’t literally be true, a brain scientist will tell you, as far as your brain is concerned it’s totally true. You may think you gotten people out of your life but they’re still in your head.
NL: Right.
SE: And so, now you say, well if I accept that, I will ask people who are just willing to live from this moment on from the point of you that is absolutely true and then we talk about well, how do you select the people you let in, what you do with the people you already got in there. Some of which you wish weren’t. what do you do with your mother in law, all those basic things.
NL: (laughter) Right. So how do we go about choosing the right people to be in our room?
SE: Well, we suggest the people that they create a doorman. They can call it a bouncer or a doorman or a bodyguard. I think doorman is a little more classy but people say well you know it’s sexist. I don’t know whether it is or it isn’t, I’m Australian so how would I know right? (laughter) but the idea is the doorman has a list of qualities that you require of people who come in to the room of your life and that you pick those qualities based upon your own aspirational goals and your own values, aspirational values, and you only let people in to the room of your life who are resonant with what matters to you. Resonant with what you care about. Resonant with what your values are and resonant in supporting you becoming the best version of yourself. You’re authentic self, not your egoic self.
NL: Right. So okay, so will they be different qualities for different areas of our life?
SE: Well, yes and no. So I think you break it down, there would be different skill sets for different areas of our life but I think it still want the same basic qualities. So for example, for Joanie and I, one of our core values is we don’t let people in to our room who are not kind.
NL: Right.
SE: I think simple human kindness goes a long way. We’re a little short on that at the moment in our culture. So that’s an important value of ours. And then we like people in our room who are up to something. You know, for me, my say love to do and determine to become really really good at it maybe world class at it. Sometimes among the best in the world at it. I find that when you are around people like that, it’s a different conversation. I mean you and I have a lot of fun and you truly are one of the best people in the world at what you do and you and I both know that when you are discussing at that level or having a conversation at level or just any out of that level, it’s different. It just feels different. It’s uplifting and I don’t know about you but I feel most alive. Every time I see you, well, yeah I worry that you’re so introverted really but… (laughter)
NL: (Laughter) Yeah, I don’t know how to have a good time.
SE: Right, so you’re one of the most alive people I’ve ever met and I love that about you. There’s lots of things I love about you, I especially love that.
NL: Thank you. So alright, so let’s say that we recognize someone that we don’t want in our room, how do we stop them from coming in?
SE: So, you simply don’t invite them in. Now let me go through a couple of things. I do tell people to make a distinction between the person and their behaviour.
NL: Right.
SE: So we all know people, they want to be, they want us to follow them on facebook. Well you just don’t do that. They send us text, well we just don’t respond. So if we don’t pay attention to them, they’ll eventually give up. Right, now, then you get the thing with family people, well what do you do with family members? So I have my mother-in-law story and I actually like my mother-in-law, she’s 98. Right? And she’s always telling people you should do this, you should do that, you should do the other thing, I say, she ‘shoulds’ on people and I don’t like people to should on me right?
NL: Right.
SE: So I told her about this Who’s In Your Room and the idea of the doorman and I said, Doris I’d love to talk to you but if you start should-ing on me, my doorman will hang up the phone.
NL: Right.
SE: So I said, we understand, so we talked then she calls back a day later and she starts should-ing on me and I go (acts hanging up the phone) right? And she calls back, did you just hang up on me? I said Doris, I would never hang up on you, I love you, but my doorman hang up on you. And she’s a smart woman so at that moment she got it. It just drew the boundary line, that’s really interesting that you can use this mythical virtual intercessor, the doorman, this character you’ve created. Like when you’re a little child and you had your best friend who was an imaginary friend that you talk to, who had your back. Well, the doorman is just a grown up version of that little friend you had when you were a little kid who had your back and looks out for you. And the people, I do it with humor and kindness and an Australian accent which gives you a lot more leeway (laughter) get away with a lot.
NL: Right? (laughter) But this sounds like a fantastic way to be able to set up really and I said healthy boundaries, I was going to say healthy boundaries but…
SE: (inaudible)
NL: Yeah but not even healthy boundaries, just you know, stable boundaries so that you know, we can, because there are some people that have to be in our life like you said, if they are family members, if they are co-workers, but it’s a way for us to go “look, this is my boundary, this is the behaviour that I don’t, I don’t buy in to this behaviour, I don’t agree with it so I’m going to use my doorman to then be able to remove myself from the conversation”.
SE: Correct.
NL: Which is lovely.
SE: And people kind of get that. I’ve found if you have a direct and kind conversation with people, they’ll get it. So we have a gathering of friends, 34 year old friends, I (inaudible) years old, finally been friends for 30 or 40 years. And this is a very divided time politically in the United States and I still worry that Americans take themselves far too seriously but if I can say that, I’m going to be in trouble. But we have a doorman who’s interviewed all of the guests for the night and the doorman said “look, we are going to have this wonderful evening, we’re going to celebrate the fact that we’ve all been married for 30 or 40 years. Happily with the same person.” And we love our spouses and we love each other as friends so we’re going to have a celebratory evening of love and you cannot bring any political discussion to the table. You will leave politics at the door. The doorman will ask you to check your coats, take your shoes off when it’s raining and check all your political opinions and will put them in a closet, you can have them when you leave but you can’t have them when you’re in our house.
NL: Right.
SE: That’s a good example of how you do that. So you separate the people you love from certain behaviors or topics of discussion that are just off the table at the dinner table.
NL: Yeah. So this sounds like how you would deal with someone who’s already in your room that you don’t really want to be there.
SE: Correct. Yeah, so you just don’t, you just enforce the boundaries. So enforce sounds like conflict again and violent again, but it doesn’t have to be, you just simply gently remind people. And we have a, people wants these 2 kinds of management. Jewish-mother kind of management where you bug people all the time and benign-neglect. So I found that benign-neglect works well when you want people not active in your room. They’re still in your room but they are simply not active, not impacting you. And there’s lots of ways you do that. You don’t comment on the facebook posts, and if they are really persistent, you unfriend them. You don’t respond to a message from them instantly. You start your respond in an hour, then a day, then a week, and then you forget about it right? (laughter) So eventually, what you don’t pay attention to drifts away. And you pay and focus your attention and your energy on the people in your room, the projects in your room that move your life in a positive direction.
NL: Yeah. And what I love about the book is that it’s not some big text, it’s just like, it’s something that’s very simple, we could read it in an afternoon but it gives us some really clear instructions and how to’s on how to set out like healthy relationships in our lives.
SE: Correct. And it goes through how do you actually determine your values, what really matters to you. You may think you know but you might be surprised to find you don’t. that sometimes the things that really matter to, a mask from your conscious awareness and when you unearth that and start to live it, you’re life changes in a very good way. We talk practically how to, detail good people out of your life even if they’re still in your room but to stop them being active. Another thing that I found, we don’t talk a lot about it in the book but I like to take a moment now, it’s what I call virtual mentoring. Because it’s not only who’s in your room for a live person, but I was sitting with Alice Waters one night. And she’s one of the great chefs, the French named her in the top 10 in the world at one point. And the French don’t like Americans particularly so this was a huge accomplishment. And she was talking, I said so who had the most influence over you when you were developing as a chef? And she said a man I never met who’s past now. She said but I read his book and spoke to my heart and it stirred my soul and that was the beginning of my journey, I will forever be grateful for him. So this was a long time ago when there were books and no internet. But now if you’re really discriminatory about your sauces, say you’d learn how to pick really good sauces on the internet because we both know, there’s a lot of rubbish but it’s also great material. You can learn to be good at almost anything if you’re willing to apply what you can learn. Watching world masters at doing something on the internet.
NL: Right.
SE: So we talked to people about that. And then talk about well whose room would you like to be in. You know if you’re going to build a career then you want a good mentor and a live one is often very helpful. So what kind of person do you have to be for that live mentor to let you in their room. You got to get past people’s doorman if you keep living this metaphor. So the thing, well, who do I have to be. Not pretend to be. But what do I actually have to be about.
NL: Right.
SE: And if you look at the qualities of people who actually you might want to be in the room, who could help you build the life you dreamt of but are often frightened you’ll never have. You think about what qualities do I need to aspire to. That’s life changing.
NL: It is. And it sounds like being in integrity and authentic to what is important to you. Helps you to easily identify the people you want in your room but also gets you in to the rooms that will really help to up level you and change your life.
SE: Absolutely. I’m a sucker for shows. I love the Voice. I love the Voice and Joanie and I sit on Monday night when the shows on we feel like we’re in withdrawals but we love the Voice and what we love about it is it’s really a metaphor for Who’s In Your Room because each of the coaches turn around and if you are a contestant, you want to be in one of their rooms and then what kind of person you have to become to stay in their room and stay on the show. So it’s a real Who’s In Your Room kind of metaphor and you watch what happens to peoples lives when they’re mentored by the world’s best in a category. It’s just astonishing because you know, we watch people on the blinds, tryouts, and we watch them in the finals and you can’t believe it’s the same person. Just what’s happened. But they did the work, they chose the right room to be in, they welcomed the coach in to their room, the coach welcomed them in to the coach’s room and they often go on to make history. So I love that as a metaphor.
NL: Yeah.
SE: I think it’s a lot easier to live a great life than a not great life personally.
NL: Right. Well, it’s definitely more fun and it definitely is more rewarding to say the least. So Stewart, if people want to connect with you, they need to get their hands on the book, like where can we send them to do that?
SE: Well, so, whosinyourroom.online. So it’s Who’s In Your Room without an apostrophe and it’s not .com, it’s .online. So it introduces you to the book if you scroll all the way down then you’ll see all the choices and of course you can get it on amazon. You can get everything on amazon. So you can get it there.
NL: Right. Awesome.
SE: Yeah.
NL: Stewart, thank you so much for joining me today. It is always a pleasure spending time with you and with Joanie and for those of you that are watching the show, I really encourage you to go to whosinyourroom.online. It’ll actually be on the banner to the side here, we’ll have a link underneath the video as well so you can go directly through the website. And you know, really if you’re looking at setting great boundaries, improving the quality of your relationships and how you can connect with people that can up level you, this is the book that you want to get your hands on. So Stewart, thank you so much for joining me.
SE: It’s wonderful. Have a great time up there. Thanks Natalie.
NL: Thank you. Now guys, I encourage you to share this video. Please share the video, you can do that by clicking the facebook and the twitter share buttons on the page. The banner and the link below will take you through to Stewart’s website. And don’t forget, after all that’s over, click the link below that so you can download the free ebook version of my book Never In Your Wildest Dreams. So until next time, remember to live large, choose courageously, and love without limits. We’ll see you soon.