“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” - Victoria Holt
Most of us have something (or things) tucked away inside that we regret, or think “If only…” - but what if we were to look at it in a different way? What if we learned how to let go of regret, and instead - thought of it as a learning experience, a way to begin to live life to the fullest? To understand that it’s just the next step to get us to the place where we’re meant to be. To the here and now. What if that one (or two or three) regret(s) was what led you to trust your gut, find your passion, and become the happiest version of yourself?
For me, when my marriage ended, I was full of sadness, remorse, and plenty of “what ifs”. But after some serious soul searching, I began to see it for what it was - growth and change for the better. I began to understand how to live without regrets and to be my best self. My “limitless self”, as it were.
My 2018 goals include a daily reminder to continue to live without regret and to perpetuate the behavior that allows that to flow and manifest. I’ve jotted down some ideas for you to try that work for me.
Here are 6 Ways to Live Without Regret:
1) Be true to yourself
This may sound like it falls into the “duh” category, but it’s not always that easy or obvious. One of the hurdles in life for me was to learn to put myself first and then take care of those around me. Coming from a family of 8 siblings, self-care was not in heavy rotation! But one of the problems with putting others first is self-neglect, and that’s not always easy to spot. Learning to trust your instinct is key, which will protect you from making decisions you could regret later. And when you trust your gut, you stay true to yourself, and when you’re true to yourself - you’re a much better friend, spouse, and parent.
2) Do work you love
Of course, this may be easier said than done, but if you’re on a path to find your passion, then you’re on a path to not ending each day in a heap of remorse. Okay, that may be dramatic - but you know what I mean :). And it doesn’t necessarily mean your job. Your job can be what you do that allows you to live life to its fullest, and do the things you love. Career, travel, spending time with your friends and family, a certain hobby, exercise - whatever it is that you love, do it! When you’re busy being happy, it’s incredibly difficult to also be steeped in regret.
3) Wish the best for everyone around you
“Change your thoughts and you change your world”, said Norman Vincent Peale. I’m not sure I can add much to that, except to say that I practice it and it works! Truly, the energy you put out is the energy you get back - that’s Law of Attraction 101. Wishing the best for others, for our planet, even (or especially!) for those that cause conflict in our lives and in the world, sending out those healing and kind thoughts can only be a good thing. It’s honestly a win-win situation.
4) Don’t worry so much
Worry, anxiety, fear, and stress are terrible for your health, as we know - there’s nothing good about any of it. Letting go of the negativity that comes with those emotions is essential to a healthy and happy life, and learning how to let go of regret will help you in that process. Whatever you need to do to get you to a “chill” place, then do it. Deep breaths, a hot bath, meditation - whatever it takes.
5) Steer clear of being judgmental
Everyone has their path in life, and it’s not always what we think it should be, because don’t we know best? Just kidding! Really, though, it’s not our place to decide what’s right for anyone but ourselves. This includes our partner, spouse, friends, even our children! Judgment is just another layer of control, and that is about us - not those around us. Not every choice our loved ones make may be what we think is right for them, but even the seemingly worst decision can sometimes lead to the best outcome. We don’t know. We can only do our best to set an example and be a supportive partner/spouse/friend/parent, and we can only do that when we’re coming from a place of love, not judgment. And when we’re coming from a place of non-judgment and non-attachment, then we won’t be doing anything to regret later. Another win-win!
6) Treasure the journey, not the destination
Another way of saying this is, “Be in the now.” When we are in the here and now, in the present, we’re not rueing the past or projecting about the future. Enjoy the path you’ve chosen, and the destination will be the icing on the cake. Being caught up with things that we may have done or things that haven’t come to pass is a recipe for lamentation and regret. So focus on today, and tomorrow will be a happier place.
These are just a few ideas, and you may have your own tips and tricks to throw into the mix. The important thing to remember here is - no regrets!
And before you go, if you’re ready to banish fear, regret, self-doubt, or any other negative habits or beliefs for good, then I have a surprise for you!
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