After what feels like a whirlwind of an experience, the global pandemic we've been facing for over two years has impacted many of us in different ways. And because of the unprecedented nature of this collective experience, it's understandable if going back to regular life feels a bit foreign.
During this time, we were essentially forced inside of our homes and likely meeting and interacting with far fewer people than we were used to. So nowadays, it's totally fair if you're feeling some anxiety meeting new people or struggling to reconnect with others. So you're not alone if you feel like you need to brush up on your social skills, especially if you default to feeling shy, anxious, or self-conscious.
It can be difficult to feel fully confident when speaking to new people as you might worry about what you're going to say or feel like you're being judged. This can lead to a lot of self-doubt and the kind of social anxiety that prevents us from creating new opportunities for ourselves.
But don't worry – with the reintegration back to "normal" social settings, there are several ways to build confidence and feel more comfortable. So here are some tips on what you can do:
Make sure you're prepared.
Before you go into a social situation, particularly a new social situation, take some time to prepare. This means knowing what you want to say and even having a few conversation starters ready. If you know what you're going to say, you'll feel more confident when speaking while also easing nerves. You can practice your introduction, or rehearse a conversation ahead of time to help boost your confidence.
Relax and take your time.
No matter how prepared you may be, if you're feeling anxious, it's just as important to try to relax and take your time. Don't worry about saying the perfect thing – just go with the flow. Use mindfulness to allow yourself to feel calm and grounded in the situation so that it's easy to go with the flow. And remember that everyone feels nervous in social situations from time to time, so you're not alone.
Smile and make eye contact.
Smiling is a great way to show confidence, and making eye contact shows that you're interested in the conversation. This is a fantastic way to break the ice without saying anything and signals to the people around you know that you feel happy while communicating. And if you're finding it hard to smile, try thinking of something that made you happy earlier in the day or at another time.
Avoid negative body language.
Along with the power of smiling and making eye contact, your body language can affect how you're feeling, so try to stand up straight, avoiding negative signals like crossing your arms or hanging your head. It’s important to also be mindful of the body language of others. If you sense that someone else feels physically closed off, see how you can adjust your body language to make them feel more comfortable. This will help to make all parties more comfortable in the moment.
Listen more than you talk.
You may find that some people like talking about themselves, so it's okay to let them do most of the talking. Because sometimes simply being there to listen to someone else is what both parties need to feel comfortable. This can be a great way to get to know someone and make them feel more comfortable around you. Just make sure you're genuinely interested in what they have to say.
Be yourself.
People tend to respond positively to those who are genuine and authentic. Trying to be someone you're not will only make you feel more anxious and uncomfortable. So even if you feel awkward, embrace it! Because the person on the other end might be feeling the same way too.
Stay positive.
It's important to focus on the good things about yourself and not let negative thoughts get in the way. These patterns are what can keep us swirling in negative mental loops and even push us into never wanting to take action on what's important. But remind yourself that you're worthy of confidence and respect and that you have something valuable to share with others.
Take care of yourself.
When you're feeling good about yourself, it's easier to feel confident. Make sure to take care of your physical and emotional needs by eating well, getting enough sleep, and spending time doing things you enjoy. The energy you put out in the world is based on your vibrational frequency. So the better you're able to take care of yourself, the higher your frequency, and the more you can attract the people and opportunities you desire.
Seek out social support.
Join a club or support group or follow people or brands on social media that allow you to connect with those who understand what you're going through. Knowing that there are others out there with common feelings of social anxiety can help you feel even more confident in yourself. Even consider reconnecting with old friends or those you've always felt comfortable around. If you're finding it difficult to manage your social anxiety, you might benefit from leaning on old friends to help you with coping and relaxation skills before getting out there and meeting new people.
Talk to everyone.
Talk to everyone and get used to it! Something as simple as a little small talk with the cashier at the grocery store to saying hello to a stranger while walking on the street, building social confidence can start small. And with practice, you will find that some people are more interesting conversationalists than others, but it is a necessary skill to have confidence when networking or talking to different kinds of people.
Get used to facing your fears.
Self-confidence is all about facing your fears, so the more you face them, the easier they will become. Start with smaller fears and work your way up. This could mean attending a party by yourself, talking to people in a group, or speaking in public. Building confidence can be a challenge, but it's worth it, as you'll be better able to welcome the right people and opportunities into your life. With a bit of practice and patience, there is no doubt that you'll be talking to new people with ease in no time!
So although the pandemic forced most of us inside, where we were probably feeling more isolated than ever, it was still a collective experience. So feelings of social anxiety may ring true for a lot more people than you think. But using these tools to help you get back out there is a great way to practice feeling more confident while talking to new people. Remember, practice makes perfect, so keep socializing, and you'll soon feel more at ease with whatever life throws your way.
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