Persuasion is about so much more than just getting someone to do what you want. True "authentic persuasion" in the way that I define it is about being able to share your point of view or your ideas with others in a way that they feel excited, engaged and on board.

Are you skilled at enrolling other people in your ideas or what you'd like to create?

Here are 3 signs that you may still have some growing to do in the art of authentic persuasion:
 

Sign #1: When sharing your ideas, you feel overlooked or ignored.

Have you made several attempts at trying to land that promotion at work, scoring a date with someone special you've had your eye on or enrolling your spouse in a particular idea... but you haven't been successful?

Chances are you need to do a better job at painting a mental picture for them that's compelling enough to make them want to give you the yes you've been looking for.

To change this, focus on sharing what the BENEFIT is to the other person to granting your request. Speak from that place and you'll likely begin seeing more results instead of refusals.
 

Sign #2: Your relationships are strained.

Is there someone in your life that you find difficult to talk to?

Chances are you may have some undelivered communication for them, or they with you, that's creating the chasm between you both.

Take a moment to reflect. If something comes up that you think may need communicating, I invite you to muster the courage to share it with this person to see if it causes a shift. If nothing comes up for you, consider asking them if they have something they've been holding onto that they'd like to share, and promise them you'll be open and receptive to hearing whatever it may be.

The level of happiness and fulfillment you'll experience in your life is largely determined by the quality of communication you have with those in your life.

If you suspect there may be some stuff that needs clearing up, take the time to flush it out, and chances are you'll find the person you've cleaned things up with will be far more interested in hearing about what else you'd like to create.
 

Sign #3: You have a hard time asking for what you want.

Asking for an upgrade at the airport or for a VIP table at the nicest restaurant in town (and getting it!) can be a fun way to enhance your experience of life to the fullest.

But are you comfortable asking for what it is that you desire?

When you're confident in your communication and authentic persuasion skills, you'll find that asking for what you want becomes easy - because when you ask, you very often get it! But if you find that you are hesitant to ask, you may still have some work to do to get more comfortable asserting your desires.

My recommendation is to start flexing your "ask" muscles by asking for smaller and simpler things, like signaling someone in traffic to see if they'll let you cut in, or asking a friend to meet you at your place instead of you meeting them at theirs. Practice makes perfect, so get cracking, and you'll soon feel more at ease asking for bigger and better things :)

So here's a question for you: How are your powers of authentic persuasion? Are you comfortable asking for what you want? Leave a comment below to share your two cents!

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